Just some ideas...

Now that I am about 16 months into service (has it really been that long?), I have noticed how much difference one year makes.  Some of it comes in the form of just knowing more about the culture or sometimes it is when I finally connect the dots.  The most recent connection came in the form of our chapter one test for grade 10.  Now last year, I wasn’t too good about being strict with the students and was more worried about being a good representation for my organization, my country and myself.  Knowing what I know what I know now, I probably wouldn’t change that because it led to having a following of really awesome students who feel comfortable around me and are able to learn because we broke down that barrier of their shyness.  But, I feel like I only reached a few kids last year.  I know that is more than I could ask for, but I was really disheartened last week when my co-teacher didn’t come to class and the students didn’t listen at all.  They were really rude to be honest (rude if a very subjective word because what is considered rude to Americans may not be considered rude to Cambodians and vice versa).  I was really mad and I called Keiko about it and she told me that they don’t respect us.  We don’t determine the grades, they hardly understand us, so our hands are kind of tied.  They may like us, but for the ones that are not interested in English, they just don’t want to be there, but have to be.  At dinner a few nights later, Dave, a K4 who loves phrases, idioms and sayings of any kind, said, “It’s better to be respected than liked.” I realized that I am already liked and even still, did I come here to be liked?  No, I came to teach English.  My students listen to my co-teacher because they respect him.  I decided that I needed to do something to change this in my class. 

We talk a lot about choosing our battles in Peace Corps.  Some you fight, some you don’t and some you just ignore completely.  Last year, I ignored the cheating and copying during tests.  This year, with the support of my co-teacher, I chose my battle: cheating and copying.  I didn’t have much data in terms of my students understanding the lessons and tracking their improvement, which came from students not ever doing their homework assignments and not taking their own tests.  Policing cheating will help me to see what they understand and what they need to work on.  I can also see how much they are improving, if they are indeed improving.  Because I chose not to fight the test battle, I was vaguely aware of what was happening and added bits and pieces of what was happening by tidbits from students, mainly Vida.  When I went to copy the tests, I made enough for both classes, so 140 tests.  Because the students are obligated to pay for photocopies, many teachers add a little bit to make a profit.  I obviously was willing to pay for it to make sure that they could take the test.  Altogether, the tests set me back less than $2.  Now, one of my co-teachers last year used to charge 1,000 reihl per test, which is 25 cents.  Per student.  Every class.  Every test.  It’s just so upsetting to hear those things, but what can I do?  He has kids and a mother to support.  I can’t judge because I’m getting my money from Peace Corps and I don’t have to worry about that.  It makes me sad any way I look at it. 

So, we had a review session.  A few volunteers (not including me) came up with a test booklet for the national exam, which includes a review sheet, the test and the answer key.  We reviewed as a class and I told them my new rules.  Combating cheating is one of those things that is all or nothing, you can’t give any wiggle room, so my rules are pretty strict.

1. If a student talks, copies from another student or allows a student to copy from his or her test and I see it, I will make a huge red X on their paper, which means -5 points.  If they do it again, that’s -10 points and one more time is 0 marks on the test. 
2. All notebooks and bags at the front of the class and one pen is allowed at the desk and only two students to a desk.
3. If a student is caught with a cheat sheet, I will confiscate it and that’s -30 points.  If I catch them with another, 0 marks. 

They knew going into the test what the rules were and I told them in Khmer that I am a policewoman.  I told them to study instead of trying to cheat, I would catch them.  I also made two different variations of the same test and gave two different tests to a desk so that cheating was tougher. 

The day of the test, I was nervous.  My class is really big, about 70 kids.  I also was scared that they would all cheat, so monitoring would be impossible.  I told my co-teacher (who was absent the day of the review) and he seemed to support it, but one can never know.  After taking their notebooks (he seemed weird about making them put their bags up front) we did the dictation section and the test was in full swing.  All together, I gave out 15 x’s, which is less than I thought I would.  There were some kids who were pissed because they helped their friend and I put an X on theirs, but I think that next time they won’t let their friend.  I was sooo nervous that I would have to give someone a zero, but the most anyone got was 2 X’s.  One boy got an X and when I looked at his paper later, he hadn’t done anything on the test at all.  So zero marks minue five more points.  I put an X on one of my favorite students test and felt bad.  But then I put two X’s on a girl’s test who is always rude to me, so I guess it evened out.

After the test, I told them that they probably think that I am mean and are mad at me, but that I didn’t care.  I came here to teach, not to watch them cheat.  I told them that we will tell them exactly what to expect on the tests so instead of trying to copy, study. I noticed that after the test, when we started the new lesson, the students were more attentive and respectful. 

Today, I gave the other class the test and there were much less X’s in that class.  Maybe the kids from the first class told their friends in the other class.  I’m really glad that they didn’t test me too much on it, because I really don’t want to do it.  But I want my students to learn, so I guess it is something that I don’t want to do, but I must.  

Over the course of my service, I have read 62 books.  I am proud of that because I was never a big reader before, but I think that I have shifted and really enjoy it.  But then I realized that amount is a little too high and I need to cut back a little and give way to another hobby.  I chose to work on my photography.  I have always been interested in it and took a class in high school, but there are some really cool photo ops here I would like to take advantage.  I also have a fun program on my computer to edit the pictures.  So here are some of the pictures, some are from before I came to Cambodia and some are from Cambodia.  Enjoy!

Taken at the floating village before my fortune

Soccer ball at the orphanage 

My training host sister Lina

First trip to the floating village

Maura and I when were were little in Tennessee

Scary spider

My brother Pat's book reading.  Maura is on the couch.  I took this a week before I left America

I took this with my film camera in Ireland, in my dad's hometown. 

Bamboo, so important here

Not my bike

Boats

The flowers are so pretty here. 

I'm going to miss coconuts. 

Water puppets from my trip to Vietnam. 

Rome trip. 

Rome trip, again

Rome. 

One of my favorite pictures ever. 

Darlene with a special needs teenager at the orphanage

 In fruit news, mangos are coming back into season.  Pretty soon they will be just about everywhere.  So delicious.  Cambodians scoff when I tell them that a mango in America is about $3 (is that even right?) when in Cambodia, they are just under $1 for 3 mangos. Right now, many people are eating grilled fish with a mango-fish cause-garlic-chili pepper combo, including myself.  During mango season, they are everywhere, so no one even pays for them. People have too many mangos so they just hand them out to anyone that will take them.  That’s my favorite part of the year.

I received some good news about a week or so ago- my mom is coming back to Cambodia with my little sister! Such great news! I told my family that my mom loved Cambodia so much that she wanted to come back.  I am thrilled about it! The tentative dates are January 1^st- January 12^th.

As for the approaching holiday, there will be a training session for the new group of volunteers in Battambang, so the Battambang volunteers are arranging a Thanksgiving dinner for about 80-90 people.  Coordination is proving tough, but we will be able to pull it off.  We are having a sleep over at Darlene’s then waking up and cooking all day.  Sit tight for more news of it…. I’m also pitching my Leader Club to about 200-300 students on Friday.  We want to spark their interest and get the ball rolling on giving them the tools to create community projects. 

I went with Darlene to the orphanage that we spend a lot of time at, and two projects were formed.  First, Darlene is working to get a replacement for the solar powered water pump.  The pump broke about a month ago and now the children must use the back-up well and transport water to all of the bathrooms and kitchens.  It takes about 2-3 hours everyday.  We also discovered that many of the children were really sick during a recent flood.  The reason is because they don’t wash their hands.  In most Cambodian bathrooms, there is no sink and soap, so hand washing never really gets done. So, I created a project to make a hygiene station, which will be a place for the children to wash their hands and brush their teeth.  Because they don’t have parents to monitor their hygiene, it is often neglected and leads to further problems.  We are aiming to solve this problem by creating the station, supplying the children with toothbrushes and toothpaste and supplying the center with soap.  I also asked my two students, Kimny and Vida, who did the health workshop over the summer, to do a workshop about hand washing and oral hygiene for the children with three of the high schoolers who live at the orphanage.  The funding will come from family and friends back home who can contribute online.  I submitted the proposal on Monday, so I hope to hear back soon and I will send on the link.

The boys dorm. 

Because my mom and sister are coming to visit right after the holidays, I was torn between spending the holidays at the beach with a few friends, but decided to stay at site through Christmas and celebrate New Years in Siem Reap with some friends, then meet my mom and sister.  Coincidentally, a really awesome project essentially fell into my lap.  While at the orphanage, we were told that on December 22, 23 and 24^th, a team of Canadian doctors will be setting up a clinic at the orphanage.  Free check-ups will be provided to anyone in the community, so long as they come to the orphanage.  I talked to many of my students in my English Club (these students tend to be poorer, which is why they study with me, because they cannot afford to go to private school) and we made a plan to bike the 7 kilometers to the center, with siblings, parents and other family members who are interested.  I also talked to Socheath, the director of the organization that works with street children and orphans where we did the health workshop about getting the children to the clinic.  I talked to Vida about making sure that all of the boys who live at the pagoda to come, since they are essentially homeless.  We will have a pretty overwhelming group, but I cannot imagine a better way to spend Christmas Eve- helping to get kids who are sick to doctors.  These kids have no advocates for their health and well-being.  Because we will have a huge group, I’m going to bring games to play while we wait for the doctors. 

My host family life continues to be one of the best parts of service.  I’m worried, however, about my nephew Chun Lai’s attachment to me.  His parents live in a different district and he sees them probably once a month for only a few hours.  He is being raised by my host mother, my host sister and my host brother and not really by his parents.  This is common in Cambodia.  Sometimes kids leave home to live with a relative and hardly see their parents.  I thought that it was really traumatic for the children, but I learned that it happens all the time once I asked my students about it.  Although it is part of the culture, I can tell that he is acting out because of it.  He hits his grandmother (not nearly as big of a deal as it would be in America, especially with my grandma) and yells and cries a lot.  He doesn’t go to school yet and is surrounded by adults all the time.  I have become his play thing, which is really fun, but he doesn’t listen to me.  Like last night, when he tried to draw with permanent marker on his eyeball and I had to snitch on him to my host mother.  We have a blast and I’m so glad to have him; he keeps me smiling and I love to be silly with him, but I won’t be here forever.  I just hope it isn’t too messy when I leave.  I hope that he just moves on to the next thing.  Besides that thought, the nightly English lessons with my brother Huck and his girlfriend Navy are really proving to be paying off.

Before the sentimental part, I was told last week that my name means playful in Thai.  Fun little fact.

When I was an athlete (it seems to long ago now), I was never really concerned with my stats.  During college, I never knew the exact numbers, but I could usually gage how well I was doing.  But it was shocking sometimes to realize how far I had fallen.  During the great slump of my freshman year, my batting average was so low; I was shocked that it wasn’t lower.  My coach would sometimes read the team stats, especially from the most recent 10 games, but we usually knew what to expect- 4 errors in the past 10 games wasn’t a shock, I was there for all 4 of them.  During my sophomore year, I was slumping really badly towards the end of the season.  A few bad games turned into a dent into my batting average and really any offensive category and one practice my coach announced that I was “0 for my past 15”.  Now, I knew that I wasn’t doing well, but I didn’t realize that it was that bad.  In softball slumps are unavoidable and the most difficult part of the game.  Confidence gets lower with every hitless at bat.  They don’t happen too often, but when they do, oh man, it’s a tough road ahead.  This is how is works with my service.  Sometimes I fall into a slump and don’t even know it’s happening, except as a volunteer, I don’t have someone to hit me with my .000 batting average to whip me back into shape.  During training, we talked a lot about peaks and troughs and how it’s really hard to tell that you are in a trough, sometimes you don’t even realize until you are on your way out of it.  This is what happened to me a few weeks ago.  Although I don’t have a statistic, my daily planner was alarmingly barren.  I was teaching at my high school and the university, but not going above and beyond what I want to be doing and frankly should be doing.  I don’t really know how to explain it aside from being stagnant.  Even though I don’t have a coach to call me out on not doing much, a community need usually snaps me out of it and helps to realize what was happening.  I also noticed that after I come out of a slump, just like softball, the stars seem to align and projects fall into my lap.  Jenna Best, one of my closest friends, always used to repeat what her mother would tell us when she came to games “Do something out there, will ya?”.   I think this is pretty perfect because it’s those times where I just lay dormant that it’s not that I am doing something bad, it’s more that I’m not doing much of anything.  We are here, we should do it to the best of our ability.  But that’s behind me and let’s hope it’s the last trough of service and I can plateau from this peak.

It never ceases to amaze me how important perspective is in general, especially now.  When my mindset is out of whack, Cambodia seems like such a backwards, tough country.  But when I alter my position to be open-minded and positive, I appreciate just how remarkable this place truly is.