I'd rather be.....

Hello everyone!!! I heard that there is a lot o snow in America now! Just wanted to let you know that, unlike America, the cold season has officially ended, and that means that sweaty teacher has made a comeback.  I am so hot when I teach class (outside it is about 90 degrees and the classes don’t have electricity) but I have gotten over the embarrassment that is my life a long time ago.

I have been traveling on the weekends and it has been pretty fun.  But on the bus home, I always feel a sense of remorse because I feel like I am living a double life and after the bill of the weekend, I realize that it is excessive.  But, I am able to see a lot of Cambodia with people that I really enjoy, so I shouldn’t feel guilty.  I guess the guilt is a good sign, but it would be rather wasteful if I didn’t take advantage of how small (and amazing Cambodia is).  I always feel really refreshed after these trips and it is actually really important for my metal health.  My mom put it all in perspective when she said that on those trips, I am actually being myself because at site, I am a teacher, constantly concerned about being conservative, I am at home by 6:00 at the latest and when I am away from site, I can let my hair down (literally), speak English and literally be myself.  I realized, though, that in transition, I am able to meet people that I would never have the opportunity to meet.  There have been many people who say that they have never hear of Peace Corps or even talked to an American.  So even when I am traveling, I am able to converse with people that I would never have the chance to outside of sitting on a six-hour bus ride from PP.  It is just a really weird change once I step off the bus. 

Integration here is a really strange concept.  Everyone talks about “being integrated”, but what does that even mean?  How does one even become integrated and how do we even know when we get to that point?  Well, I realized that maybe I am becoming “integrated” (whatever that even means) last week.  I had a flat tire when I came out of an internet cafe.  I knew that are places to get a flat tire fixed on my side of the bridge, so I decided to just walk my bike there.  I ran into a man who is a “motodup”, which means that he drives his moto for a living.  He is always parked outside of a restaurant that I eat at every now and then and he always tries to chat with us.  I saw him while I was walking my bike and he directed me to a place that he knew.  Furthermore, he stood with me and made sure that it was fixed properly.  It turns out that he has a daughter who lives in Chicago and before I knew it, we were talking about the price of the electricity that we get from Thailand.  I could tell that this guy had been dying to talk to an American.  As you are reading this, you probably don’t understand how this little, minute action really made me feel at home.  And of course, I will be looking up his daughter once I go back to America.  When I got off the bus, I saw him and we had a little conversation but it was more personal this time.  I was walking to get my bike, which I had left at a restaurant in the center of town.  Darlene and I have become friends with the family and I asked them if I could leave my bike in their house and they looked after it.  When I got there, my bike had (yet another) flat, but their son took the bike to a bike repair shop on his moto and got it fixed for me and refused to accept money.  If you are wondering how he got my bike there, he rode his moto while holding onto my bike as it rode passengerless.  These two very, very small interactions really go a long way when you are a 23-year old year old living in a different place.  It was really reassuring to know there are some people that are really looking out for me.  Battambang is a big place, but I continue to feel increasingly comfortable here.

 Our trip on the bamboo train. 

As for teaching, I have really hit a wall.  Of my four classes, I really enjoy two of my classes but the other two are a little more difficult.  It’s tough to teach when the curriculum consists of a book that is ten years old and has lessons on windsurfing, which is a word that I have never even said until I came to Cambodia.  Plus, there are literally no resources besides a chalkboard and chalk.  But, there are small accomplishments that really keep me going.  For instance, we played “Robot” in my class after learning how to ask indirect questions using “Can”.  For example: “Can you please tell me your name?” as opposed to “What is your name?”.  The way that the game is played (which I learned during training) is the teacher (me) is the robot and the robot has to do what the students ask so long as they as a question using “can questions.”  One class was asking questions about what I look for in a guy, but this class was more easily amused.  I actually danced for them and sang.  One girl asked me to speak in Khmer to the class and when I said “Kinyom chimua Kealan.  Kinyom mock bee Amerik bontai ail lonee, kinyom rua now Kampuchea” which means “My name is Kealan.  I am from America but now I live in Cambodia” they were dying,  I kept going and told them about when I tried to buy fruit.  They were all clapping and laughing so hard but I was happy that they got to see how shameless I am about speaking.  They actually told me that my Khmer was very clear, which made me happy.  After class, I was walking to my bike when Chakriya, who is one of my favorite students, asked me to come with them to the canteen.  They ordered papaya salad for me, which is so delicious, but super spicy.  While I really like spicy food, I am a huge baby.  They even ordered me the “at hul” (not spicy) and I was dying.  My lips were on fire when one student looked at me and said “Cher, you need water”  I tried to play it cool, but I chugged that glass in a second.  They were asking about the upcoming Chinese New Year (more on that later) and we talked about America and just life in general.  It is pretty amazing to be able to hang out with students in their true element. 

As for Chinese New Year, since my family is Chinese, it is a pretty big deal.  It will be a three day even starting on Sunday, which is also Valentine’s Day, which is a big deal here, or so my brother Huck and my students tell me.  So, Chinese New Year is a three day event with a lot of food, drinking, music and pretty fun parties.  It is pretty unreal how universal holidays are.  When it comes down to it, it is really simple- there are customs then after, everyone enjoys themselves and the company of family.  It always makes people reflect on just how lucky we are to be alive and to be around each other.  Of course there is the ritual of the pre-ceremony fight, which I witnessed first hand during training.  My host family was preparing to go to the wat and my sisters and mom were all yelling at each other.  I don’t know what they said, but it was so obvious- my mom was yelling at my sisters for being too informal, to which the girls all responded that they don’t have any clothes to wear.  But once that issue is resolved, it is really uniform how people sit down, eat the traditional food and simple enjoy themselves.  There is so much preparation (my family has been preparing for weeks) but once the tables are cleared and the dishes are washed, that is the real holiday- being around each other.  Simply having a day set aside (or in this case three) to simply appreciate the past year and celebrate what is to come is customary, regardless of religion, language or country.  We tend to complicate the process, but it’s the end result that is the important part.  Maybe this is just me not having a holiday that I am used to for a while, but it is actually rather obvious when you back up and look at it from the side of the world.  

 I talk about my friends here a lot, so here they are: (In the back, left to right) Jessica, Meagan and Keiko (in the front row, left to right) JaNise, Jacqueline and Me

As I have posted about a few times before, we are currently right in the midst of planning an event for International Women’s Day at the university which will focus on the importance of education.  We had a meeting and they approved the event, so now we will have another meeting tomorrow with the Ministry of Education, the university and the volunteers.  I am really thinking long term for this (as in making a weekend long event over the summer with a few volunteers from different provinces).  I asked a female Khmer teacher to be my counterpart and she was really excited about it.  Our game plan is to bring in 5 female 11^th graders from each of our schools (there are 6 volunteers participating).  We will make small groups of 4 high school girls and 2 university students, who will be the group leaders.  The event will be completely in Khmer, so the girls feel comfortable and so that they are able to express themselves.  We will have 5 speakers from 5 different professional careers (a doctor or nurse, a woman from an Ngo, a professor at the university, an accountant and a woman from PP who works in the international sector).  We want the women to talk about how education was the bridge to achieving their goals.   Many of the girls want to be doctors, but they have no idea how to become one.  We are all really excited and it is coming along really well.  We will be presenting our schedule and budget plan tomorrow. 

As for my home life, I came back from PP two weeks ago to find a new member of the family, which is common.  His name is Meow and he is a really annoying cat.  I guess he is a good pet because he only eats bugs and mice, but he always wants to come into my room and I get really stuffy around cats, so I have been trying to get him out.  Chun Lai is as great as always.  My family is trying to force him to call me “Ming” (aunt) or “Bong” (sister) but he doesn’t really do it and calls me Kealan all the time, which is fine with me.  Chun Liap is walking a lot, which is fun because she couldn’t when I first came.  It’s really enjoyable to watch her grow.  Except for when both Chun Lai and Chun Liap cry at 6am when I am actually able to sleep in… Chun Liap has cried a few times and the family passes her along to me when no one else can calm her down.  She is so cute because there are a few times when Chun Lai and I are playing and she will hear us from the kitchen and crawl as fast as possible outside.  She is a really loud breather, so we can always hear her breathing and laughing in anticipation of playing with us.  There are times that having babies around isn’t so fun, but they are a pleasure when I have had a crappy day because they are always there with a smile and a “sua sa die” (hello).  My host brother Huck is getting really good at English and I realized that when he picked up on how frequently I say “it depends” and he asked what it means.  He also told me that he was really confused on how I say “little” because it sounds more like “liddle” (said very fast).  It was pretty impressive that he was able to pick up on the slang because sometimes I forget that English isn’t his first language.

I will be in PP next week for in service training, which basically means a week of sessions during the day and pizza at night.  We found a bowling alley in PP and that was a blast! There is also a movie theatre, so maybe we will go there too…..

I realized that teaching is not really my cup of tea (as in I don’t want to do once I get back) but I am trying to make the most of it and enjoy it the best that I can.  Starting this International Women’s Day event has really kicked my mental health back up.  I feel better in class simply because I now have a project that is not related to teaching English.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my students and I am really liking my job as a teacher, but sometimes it feels like the barriers are a little too much and it really weighs me down.  This project has really revitalized me.

Last two things: fashion here cracks me up and despite the conservative nature of clothing here, I think that it is pretty funny to note two very popular t-shirts in the BB currently.  The first is “I f***ing love to cuddle” and my favorite “I’d rather be snorting coke off a stripper’s ass”.  That is not a joke.  Anyone want one?