Santa Claus is coming to Battambang

Hello family and friends! I hope that everyone had a really great holiday season! I am posting this on Christmas Eve, after teaching my 11D class. So, Merry Christmas to those back home! This is going to be a loooong entry, to brace yourselves!

Tomorrow, for Christmas, I will be celebrating in a rather unorthodox way. I only teach one class on Friday, which is 11B from 7-9. Those students are really great, so I decided to have a one hour Christmas party from 7-8 and then let them go an hour early. We will eat candy and listen to Christmas songs then I will then rush across the street to get wireless to call Maura on skype and talk to my whole family at the Annual Christmas Eve party at the Waldron’s. There are so many new babies, I cannot wait to meet them!!! It will be really great to talk to everyone. Although I am not homesick, I wish that I could magically appear at the house for the party then head back here. But, clearly that is impossible, so I will do the next best thing, which is to call and talk to everyone. Thanks goodness for technology!

I was able to go to my first wedding on Friday, December 18. Wedding season takes place during the dry season, usually. Cambodians are, generally, very superstitious and many of the traditions within the Buddhist religion here in Cambodia are dependent on the lunar calendar. A perfect example is weddings- the time of year you get married in depends on the year that you are born. I have heard my host brother Manlee talk about his star sign a lot- he is a rat and his son is a pig. The first time he mentioned it I was really confused as to why he kept calling Chun Lai a pig. So, therefore, someone who may have to get married during the rainy season or the hot season because of the year they were born in. So, the wedding that I went to was the daughter of one of the teachers at my school. Now, you are probably confused as to why I was even invited, but weddings are very open, so therefore the bride’s father invited literally every teacher at the school. The first time I talked to him was when he handed me the invitation. It’s also a really big deal to have foreigners at weddings, and that was very clear when I walked in with two other teachers and the former school director. Traditional Khmer wedding clothes for women are really extravagant and colorful, but I haven’t really had time to get any clothes made for the occasion. My host mother makes wedding clothes, but she has been so busy lately, I didn’t want to ask her to take time out of her busy day to make some clothes for me, but at the same time, it would probably be insulting if I went to another tailor. As for the invitations, in America, it is pretty much standard to send a save the date a few months in advance, but engagements here last only a few months on average, so there is not much notice. I got the invitation maybe on December 9th and the wedding was on the 18th. I knew that it was going to be weird, but there are few encounters these days that aren’t. The wedding started at 11 and we arrived around 11:15. I noticed right away that the room was divided into males on one half and females on the other half. I walked in with three middle aged men and didn’t know what else to do, so I sat with about 9 middle aged men. It became very obvious that not only was I one of about 5 females on the wrong side, but I was the only westerner. I also was one of the only women without wedding clothes. It’s important to note that wedding clothes for men are pretty standard. My coteacher wore the same thing he wears to school. Formal occasions for women here seem to be so stressful. They have these beautiful, elaborate dresses with updoes that must take hours and loads of make-up. Like most Asian countries, most people usually apply skin-whitening lotion daily. I often talk to my family about how my view of skin is just the opposite of theirs- I want to have their skin and they want to have mine. It’s funny how at first I didn’t understand how they can want so badly to change their complexion, then I realized that I am the same, it’s just that I pay of lot of money and spend a lot of time to make my skin dark. I was accidentally using a whitening face wash and my face looked really weird. So, the makeup that the women wear makes their skin look very light. I have a picture in my most recent facebook album of a girl about my age going to a dinner dance party. It is a prefect example of what dress up looks like here. Besides the clothing, there really weren’t that many differences in weddings. Granted I did not attend the actual ceremony but rather the reception. The reception is much the same in Cambodia as it is in America. They cut the cake, throw the bouquet, everyone eats a lot and drinks even more. There was a band and a DJ. Cambodians know how to have fun. While it was really awkward during the meal, the men did not waste much time drinking. Because of my Irish heritage, I can appreciate the rush to drink as much as possible, I have been there myself a few times. It is a very strange position to be put in because it was a Friday afternoon and I had a private lesson with a student at 2, so clearly I didn’t want to drink before that. In addition to that, half of the boys from my 11B class were working the reception, filling up ice and handing out drinks and beer. I drank Coke through the meal and it was obvious that the people I knew there (the teachers) did their fair share of drinking and man, they were so much fun. I haven’t really been able to get to know them personally because it has been at a school setting, but we were able to put our guards down and have some fun. Three of the teachers got on stage and sang karaoke and one even did a duet with the singer of the band. Cambodians love music and love to sing. So, once the meal was over and everyone was mingling, most of the teachers came over to talk. I was rather taken aback when I realized that many of the teachers who aren’t English teachers can actually speak English. As is the custom in Cambodia, you always do a little cheers before you drink and clink glasses with everyone you are with. All of the teacher who came over to say hi and chit chat were cheersing my Coke, then one teacher took an ABC beer and filled me glass. It’s tough to strike a balance between not really wanting to take part in the festivity of drinking without coming across as condescending or awkward. So, I though that one beer would be ok. So I drank my one beer and had a good time with the teachers. A few of them have students that I teach and it was really great to get to know them. We left around 1:30 and I was dropped off at home. I went to the basically deserted school and met with the student that I have been working with. A few teachers were at the school when I finished tutoring Elvis. I don’t think they taught- I think that they came to school just to continue hanging out. I talked with them for about ten minutes and they asked a lot of questions about me. Here is verbatim the conversation I had with a teacher:

Teacher: Are you married?
Kealan: No.
T:Why not?
K: I don’t know, I haven’t met anyone that I want to marry.
T: How old are you?
K: 22.
T: Well I have a son who is 25 years old and he came back from Malaysia to marry you. He is very tall and very handsome.
K: Oh really? Well, he probably doesn’t want to marry me, I don’t think.
T: Are you drunk?
K: No, I only had a half of a beer.
T: I think you had 5.
K: Nope, only one.
T: How long will you stay in Cambodia?
K: 2 years. But I must go home now.

This teacher is a Khmer Lit teacher and is a really nice teacher and was one of the first to talk to me and try to make me feel comfortable. The previous conversation was all in jest, not putting pressure on me in any way. He has a really contagious laugh and seems like the life of the party. I am really starting to pick up on the fact that many of the teachers, as well as the students, are starting to get used to me being here. In addition, they are realizing that I will stay here for a while. There was another Peace Corps volunteer who worked at my school maybe 2 years ago, but he was never at the school and kept to himself. He left after one year and it seems like he didn’t really have much to do with the school. They really don’t talk about him ever, so I take that as a sign that they must have been disappointed in his distance from the school. At first I was sort of upset that the teachers weren’t really trying to talk to me more, because Cambodians are so friendly and they want you to feel comfortable. I realized that it could have something to do with the previous volunteer and the way that he interacted with his colleagues. It makes me happy though that they are starting to go out of their way to talk. I have definitely noticed that there are a few teachers who always laugh and joke around with me. I think that it’s really important to have a relationship with the other teachers because one of the goals of PC is to teacher the other teachers student- centered learning strategies. There is no reason why I can’t be friends with the teachers too. I spend most of my time at the school, as do they, so the personal questions about me, my family and background make me happy.

I have two more weddings coming up. I have one on the 26th for a teacher’s daughter and then my host cousin, Makara, is getting married on the 27th. I told my host brother Huck that I feel so strange at those events because I don’t know anyone and I don’t know what to do. He told me that people get so happy when they are able to share a holiday with a foreigner. About two months ago, I went to a festival with my host mother at her brother-in-law’s house. I was pretty miserable, but the man who held the festival told my host mother that he was so happy that a “barang”, as we are called, came to his ceremony. It reflects really well on the family if a barang (which is the Khmer word for French, but Cambodians use this word to describe anything from the west) tries to take part in the service and is respectful. So, this is probably why people want me to come to their parties and events. It’s fine with me, they are super fun.

Life at home is going really well. My host brother and I get along really well and he is learning so much English. My room is really great and I have my daily and weekly schedule pretty much set. I am really independent and come and go without guilt or a barrage of questions (unlike at my training host family). But at the same time, I feel very integrated here. I spend a lot of time with my host niece and nephew, Chun Liap and Chun Lai. I always sit outside at the table and write in my journal every other day. Chun Lai, my 3 year old host nephew, usually sits with me and shares my iPod. Last week, he asked Huck for an old notebook that he now uses as his journal and we sit together and journal. Clearly he does not know how to write, but I think he sees me doing it and he wants to write, too. While we are writing, he usually pauses once in a while and asks (in Khmer, but I have translated…) “Sister Kealan, what are you doing?” I responded “I am writing in my book. What are you doing?” to which he responds “I am writing in my book, just like Kealan.” The first time he did it, it broke my heart. We usually chill together before dinner then for an hour after dinner. We have been playing this one game a lot recently. I like to call it the “wear a bag on your head while the other person tries to knock it off with a balled- up bag”. He loves that game. At 8:00 on the dot I retire to my room and usually go to bed shortly after. Am I embarrassed that my three year old host nephew stays up later than I do and wakes up earlier than I do? Maybe a little. We have a good time, though. The girl, Chun Liap, has downs syndrome and is very attached to her mother and father, but there have been a few times lately when we are playing and her parents try to take her away, she cries. She cannot really speak, but she does say “ba”, “be” and “by”. She always makes a point to say “ba bye” when I go into my room or go anywhere near my bike. Even when her mom takes her to bathe, she says ba bye. She is so cute and I really like to have kids around because it takes the stress away from not really being able to communicate. Chun Lai talks to me a lot and sometimes I understand, sometimes I don’t. But I listen to him talk and usually we just play. It’s a good stress reliever and it’s really great to come home and be greeted by smiling Cambodian faces.

I talked to my school director on Tuesday about starting an English Club for more advanced students. He was all for it and gave me total support. The plan of action is to have a test on January 9th for grades 12, 11 and 10. Of those grades, I will most likely take the top ten and start a club of about 30 kids. While I feel horrible that I will be turning some kids away, it is simply impossible to have a club with all of the students who are interested; there are about 1,000 kids in each grade. I am going to continue my office hours and work with any students who ask for help. My Wednesday sessions with Elvis Presley now include James Earl Jones and Horace Mann now. I think that more kids will ask for more help once they realize what I mean by having free time and wanting to work with them. The club will most likely meet 3 times a work during lunch and we will do more hands on activities such as student run discussion, writing assignments, peer revision, public speaking, etc. It is impossible to do some of these activities in class because either the students don’t understand what I am talking about or there is just not enough. For instance, in my 11D class, we read a little one page passage about education in Cambodia and I spent about 45 minutes explaining words from the passage that the students didn’t understand. It will be fun to be able to work with students who are able to do more accelerated activities. I have also been in contact with the University of Management and Economics (UME) about working there. I decided that I didn’t really want to teach and because Eddie and Darlene (two other volunteers who live in Battambang) are doing workshops, I agreed to work with their English Club. Working with them at the UME will be different than at the high school because the UME English Club is totally student run. I have to completely create this club from scratch at my school, but the club at the university has already been created the club. I will just offering some assistance in the way of correcting the students. The way that the club is set up at the university is the club consists of about 30 students, but because they can’t all meet at the same time (Khmer students are SOOOO busy), they broke the club into 9 groups of 3-4 students. I agreed to meet with each group once a month and hold one open hour a week for any of them to ask questions. That way I will be working with the club for 13 hours a month, which is reasonable, and I will be able to work with them all. This will all start after the new year. Between the two clubs and teaching, I will have my work cut out for me. This will keep me very busy for a few months, until I have that under control and then I will start something different, probably apart from teaching, maybe a sports team? Who knows. Weekends will most likely be my only free time, but I will probably find something really quickly to fill up that time.

The other day, I came across a blog and the person who wrote it was basically making fun of Khmer students trying to speak English. I want to make one thing clear: the only person that I intend to make fun on this blog is myself. I understand that I came into another country- they have their own culture, values and traditions, who am I to undermine them? I have a few skills that I am trying to carry over into this country to help further the development that is just starting here. There are some things that I are very different that I want to share with you, but I think it’s really important to keep in mind that I am not here to change their culture, rather I am here to embrace it and share mine. When I get back to America, I will want to share what I learned about Cambodian people, traditions and culture with you. The goal is to create friendships by realizing how similar we actually are instead of identifying differences and exploiting them. On the surface, we may seem different, but after five months, I can honestly say that people are people wherever you go. Likewise, on the subject of the students- it is so difficult to learn English when Khmer is your language. Khmer people are very laid back and have simplifying down to an art. While English is very complicated with tenses, subject-verb agreement and so on, Khmer language makes everything so simple. What I mean by simple is that in English we tend to throw in a bunch of extra words, but in Khmer, you get right to the point. For instance, in English, a common questions is “Do you have any water?” but in Khmer you ask, “Mein tuk at?” which very directly means, “Have water not” or as we would say, “Do you have water or not?” And the response is either “Mein” which is “have” or “at” which is “not”. The fact that the students have any sort of skill at speaking a language as complex as ours is a testament to their determination and hard work. I was really upset by this post because I know how much I struggle with learning Khmer. The mistakes that the students make are ones that in the end are really difficult to grasp. Instead of ridiculing the students for their mistakes, I think we should be praising them for their progress (which was a vocab word for grade 11 this week).

Have a great (and safe) New Year! I will be heading down to the beaches of Kampot with my friends to bring in 2010! Miss you all!