Peace Corps is HARD!

This past week was a milestone for a few reasons.  First, it marked the one-year point since leaving my house in Oak Park on July 21^st.  It was also Darlene’s 50^th birthday and the 60^th anniversary of diplomatic relations.  All three of these events made for an awesome weekend in Phnom Penh.

The story first starts with something that I should have done a long time ago- getting wedding clothes made.  After I was asked to come to a gala thrown by the US Embassy in Phnom Penh, I realized that the time had come. My host mother was thrilled when I asked her to make me an outfit; she has been wanting to for a long time now.  We went to the market to buy fabric, which essentially entails three parts- the fabric for the sampot (the traditional Khmer floor length skirt), the outside see-through fabric for the shirt then the fabric for inside.  I chose to do it right, which means to pull out all the stops and my host family was there for every step of the way.  I chose an entirely red outfit and my family approved, saying that red looks beautiful with my meat, which I suppose means my skin.  The next step was to choose the design for the shirt.  Chun Lai, my 4 year old host nephew was really into the whole process and sat with me while I leafed through the countless magazines to choose the style that I liked.  Every picture that he saw, he asked me “Sro line te?” which means “Do you love this?” It was fun at first, but then I told him that I loved them all, but that wasn’t good enough.  Thus we created a new game I like to call “Do you love this?”  Simple enough.  I finally chose the style I liked, but asked my host mom to make the sleeves not to puffy.  Over the next few days, my host mom, host sister and one of her employees cut, sewed and applied glitter to my outfit.  I was given specific instruction on how to wear it (aka how to zip it correctly and hide the zipper) and basic information about my sampot- essentially don’t get it wet! That last part made me nervous because I live in the tropics and sweat more in one week then I ever have in my entire life.  Regardless, the night before I left for PP, my host mother made the final touches and we packed it in my bag after I woke up at 5:30 the next morning.

I have found myself in quite a routine here.  One days where I teach or have other meetings, I wake up at 6, shower, eat my breakfast and drink my coffee while reading then I head out around 8:50 to teach or work on my health project.  When I go to PP however, it is a little different.  I buy my ticket at the hotel across the street the day before for the first bus out, which is at 6:30 which means around 7:00 Cambodian time.  I wake up, shower, get dressed and ready, then walk across the street to eat gwee-tee-you, which is basically noodle soup, with coffee.  The girls that work there also work for my host mom, so they are always into where I am going, why and when I will come back.  After I pay my bill, I stand on the side of the highway and wait for the bus to come get me.  I usually chit chat with some of the villagers around me and get on the bus.  It takes about 5.5 hours, so I sit back and relax as best I can.  Sometimes it isn’t so easy, but the ride is beautiful and I almost always travel with Darlene, so I have a buddy to pass the time with.  It was also Darlene’s birthday, so we were in high spirits once we entered the city! We check into our guest house and relaxed until we went to the Peace Corps Office to get our money.  The new PC group had just gotten in that day so we were able to meet a few.  They looked really overwhelmed at tired, so we tried not to overdo it.  

We showered up and went to get foot massages at a really great spa.  There were four of us- Darlene, Jessica, Chrissy and myself and before long we were laughing and speaking Khmer with our masseurs.  They told us that Khmer people believe that those who have moles on the bottom on their feet are destined to travel and live far from home.  Two of us did, including myself.  We had a blast at the massage and went to get Italian food for dinner, which is always a hit.  We sang happy birthday and headed back to the guest house.  

The next day was all about preparing for the gala that night.  We went out early after breakfast at the market in search of purses.  The first market was a bust but we ended up finding really great wallets that doubled as clutches.  Darlene and I went to the market to get 3,000 reihl (75 cents) manicures and pedicures.  We had a little time to relax, then it was time to prepare for the gala.  We showered and got ready and it took about 5 minutes to figure out the zippers and latches and everything.  We walked downstairs to take pictures and the staff of the hotel was loving our outfits.  When we walked outside, the entire block came outside to look at the American women in Khmer clothes.  We went to Raffles, which is the most expensive hotel in the country and were directed to the ballroom.  The Ambassador (Carol Rodley) greeted us outside the room and directed us in.  It was obvious that we were the only Americans in Khmer clothing.  After the national anthems and a video about relations between Cambodia and America, we sat down to our dinner, which was out of this world! We had steak! It has been well over a year since my last steak, but it was so good.  The Marine Pacific band played during dinner and the Ambassador requested the Happy Birthday song for Darlene, so she stood up and everyone sang happy birthday.  Two former ambassadors came over to talk, as well as many former Peace Corps volunteers and we had to rush to eat our food between the mingling. We went across the room to speak to our country director and along the way, Jessica and Chrissy were stopped by the Minister of Education to comment on Peace Corps and our clothes.  We took a lot of pictures with many of the workers.  We met so many people, and so many people commented on our clothes, which was symbolic of American- Cambodian relations.  One former ambassador told us how he worked so hard to get PC into Cambodia during his time in the Embassy, but the first group came two months after his post finished.  Another ambassador, who is the one who opened the American Corner at the UME, which is the university I work at, commented how glad he was that Peace Corps finally came while he was Ambassador.  Many Khmer women commented about how they felt uncomfortable in their clothes, but when we came, they felt better about it and thanked us.  At the end of the night, our country director offered to take us home, but it took us about 20 minutes to walk 20 feet out the door because people kept approaching us.  It wasn’t a long event, but it was one that was so much fun to be a part of.  I always knew how important Peace Corps is to diplomacy and international relations, but I never realized just how important it is.  The people who talked to us were Cambodian diplomats, teachers, lawyers and American marines, diplomats, journalists, etc.  I was really proud to be there to represent the Peace Corps side of it.  Likewise, I was especially happy to tell the story of my outfit.

 Close up of my shirt

Jessica, Darlene, Chrissy and Me

 Darlene and I with former Ambassador Joseph A. Mussemeli

The group with our country director, Jon Darrah

 

We were wiped out after the party and headed back to the guest house.  We ended up just going to sleep.  Darlene and I decided to head back on Saturday morning instead of staying.  “Let’s quit while we are ahead.”  We had a fantastic weekend so we bought our tickets for Battambang, ran some errands and headed back.  It always feels good to be back.  I ran into a tuk tuk driver I knew right when I stepped off the bus, then saw a moto driver whose daughter lives in Chicago, chit chatted with a group of men near my house then my host sister saw me and offered me a ride on her moto.  My backpack was heavy, but due to the no moto policy, I finished out my walk.  

This weekend was a lot of fun, but it was a rarity.  I always considered myself lucky to be placed in Cambodia, especially a former volunteer at the gala told me about how during his tour in Zambia, he was exposed to rabis and had to travel 12 hours just to get to the nearest phone.  I have to travel about 20 inches to my purse to get to the nearest phone.  Regardless, it was a weekend to be thankful- for my health, for my placement, for diplomacy and international relations, my friends and family (both real and host).  Now it’s back to “real life”.   

American nostalgia...

Happy belated 4^th of July everyone! Independence Day has never really meant so much to me.  I went into Phnom Penh for a party at the Embassy and a much needed break.  I had been at site for a month and a half, so I was itching to get away.  I met up with a bunch of friends and we found an awesome guest house and tried to keep it cheap by sticking 4 girls to a room and buying groceries and using out kitchenette.  Needless to say, I headed back to site after a great weekend much poorer.  But totally worth it! The party at the Embassy was a blast.  It felt so American.  I even won a door prize- the 2002 archives of the Phnom Penh Post.  I would have preferred the round trip tickets to Bangkok, but it’s always fun to win stuff.  It’s a really beautiful book. 

 Phnom Penh archives 2002

At the Embassy with JaNise, a fellow PCV

I cooked pasta for my grade 12 students to return the favor for when they cooked me banchayoo (see my last post).  I bought olive oil and spaghetti noodles in PP and my students took me to the market to help buy all the vegetables.  I know how to buy onions and tomatoes on my own, but I know that they really enjoyed taking care of everything at the market and walking around the with American teacher, so I went along with it.  We went back to my student Kunthea’s house (where we had the last party) and cooked together.  There was only one student who has ever had western food (a hamburger of course….) and they kept saying “We have heard of pasta, but never had it!!”  Now, I’m no gourmet chef, but it was pretty good pasta and they loved it.  I also brought along half a jar of peanut butter that I got in PP to make some PB&J’s.  We used the left over bread to put the peanut butter on and they loved it.  They cleaned out the jar and were sticking their fingers and bread in there to get every last morsel.  One girl even took the jar to buy another one at the western store.  They were so cute about their first “American” meal.  

Cooking the pasta.

Sitting down to the feast.

Reachaney loved the pasta.

Sovath getting every single morsel of peanut butter. 

The whole gang!

As I approach the halfway point in my service, I have really been looking at the past year of my life and how different so many things are.  I still have a year left, but it’s weird to think about how quickly you can change and not really even notice it.  Every now and then there are little indicators of just how different my life is and I think that they are positive, because these changes can sometimes mean integration or even independence.  But, I will be coming back to America in a little over a year, which means these changes will stand out once I get back.  Now the reasons for these changes can be because I am in Cambodia, or simply because I am in Peace Corps.  Or maybe they have nothing to do with either.  Regardless, I want to walk you though them (these are meant to be silly, for the most part):

·        Throughout college, we abbreviated Madison Square Garden as MSG, for example: “When you take the New Jersey Transit into New York City, Penn Station is right underneath MSG.”  Now, when we say MSG, it refers to the chemical flavor additive that our families frequently cook with and is rather addicting.  So now, when I say MSG, it’s more along the lines of “My food didn’t have enough MSG in it tonight” or when I received a text from my friend that said “I had a huge allergic reaction to MSg tonight and now I have a huge cold sore looking thing on my face.”  I even sing the song on the commercial with Chun Lai when it’s on TV. 

·        I frequently tell my host family that in America, I only ate rice one time a month, which was actually a stretch of the truth, it was more like one every two months.  I tried to explain that there are other kinds of rice in America, such as wild rice or various Uncle Ben’s flavors, but that was just more confusing so I dropped that concept.  Well, now, if I don’t eat rice at least once a day, I feel sick- stomachache and/or headache.  Yes, I crave rice like a junkie craves his next fix.  While I was in Vietnam and Jacqueline and I were trying to find a restaurant (and they had some really good western places) , we actually passed up the pizza place for the roadside rice stand for $1 on more than one occasion.

·        Khmer people are very affectionate, so hitting can be both affectionate or a means of disciplining.  When I get together with my friends (other Peace Corps Volunteers) and someone makes fun of someone else, we do the “Khmer fake hit” which is essentially raising your hand high above your head in a mimic hit pose.  Mothers frequently do this to children when they don’t eat their rice here, but people also do it when they are being made fun of, in jest.  Well, I do it and I don’t mean to, I sometimes just find my hand over my head without thinking about it.

·        As a student athlete, there were some days when I was just too tired to shower after practice, especially if we had practice early the next morning (I’m going to get dirty again in like 8 hours, so what’s the point?).  I know that this is gross, but oh well, I did it.  Not frequently, but I did.  However, one year later, if I don’t shower three times a day, I feel so dirty and gross.  Granted I sweat much more now than before, three showers a day, sometimes four, everyday.  

·        I no longer speak in contractions.  Because it is confusing for my students when I speak in contractions, I have eliminated them from my vocabulary.  When I talk to a fellow American, I find myself saying something like “Oh, I cannot go to the market today because I do not have free time.”  I need to pick that back up upon my return stateside because it sounds pretty condescending.

·        Last year, one day after practice, my roommates and myself made our lunches and sat down to assess our stance in the BigEast, etc, and when I took a bite out of my tuna sandwich, there was a hair in it.  My roommates were so grossed out and I lost my appetite and didn’t eat anything else all day, although we just had a 4 hour practice.  Now, if there is a hair in my rice or fly in my soup, which is common, I just take it out and move on.  I think back to that tuna sandwich and I could kick myself because at least that was MY hair! Here, it’s someone else’s, or some sort of weird bug.  I cannot believe that people actually send food back for even less than that! All I know is that I wish I had that sandwich now, such a waste…

·        I saw a picture of myself from a “business casual” setting and the fact that my knees were showing was so mortifying.  Likewise, I was watching the British Office and someone on the show was showing their knees AND shoulders in the workplace.  I couldn’t move beyond that and enjoy the show, so I turned it off (aka I closed my computer) came back to the show a few hours later when the shock wore off.  No one in my family has seen any further than my knees or shoulders and I plan to keep it that way.

·        I always correct my students when they translate Khmer phrases directly into English and they just don’t make sense.  For instance, in Cambodia if something is fun, they say that it is happy.  So holidays, birthdays, vacations, etc. are described as happy.  Or, when a student wants to leave early, they say “Please, cher, I want to leave first”, which is something that I took as a competition, like who could leave first.  Well, now I speak in those Khmer phrases in English.  I told Huck that Vietnam was “very happy”.  I also announced to the university English Club that I had to “go first” because I had to teach.  I just embrace it now, even though it doesn’t make sense in English.

·        When I graduated last year, I was SO excited about doing absolutely nothing before I left.  I spent the summer gallivanting around New Jersey, Chicago and even Ireland.  I reveled in the fact that I didn’t have a job for the first time ever and ate everything in site because “I may not get to eat this for another 2 years”.  Well, now that it’s summer again, I am working so hard to make sure that I am as involved as possible. I have started second guessing taking little side trips with my friends to make sure that I am working enough at site.  I know that it is what I am supposed to do, but it’s just interesting to see how one year can change so much.  I cringed at the thought of work last year, but this year I am out everyday trying to find projects that I want to take part in.  I also don’t have access to a couch and never-ending freeze pops in Cambodia, so that helps.

·        There are some Khmer noises that are part of my daily vocabulary now.  When a seller tells me a price that is “t’lai nah!” (it costs too much), Khmer people (and I am now included in this group) make this noise and for lack of better definition would be “uuuuhhhhfffff”.  Most important is the facial expression, which is of pure disgust and a hand wave is usually thrown in, too.  We use this from tuk-tuk drivers to fruit vendors and it works every time.  I think that the noise is an important because while we speak Khmer, it is something that Khmer people do too, so it shows a sign of integration.  There is a noise that I think is only popular in Battambang, and it’s a noise of surprise.  If I had to spell it, it would be “uah-uh!”.  When I walk out of my room and Chun Lai sees me, he makes that noise.  Sometimes we shorten it to just “uuuuhhhhhh!”.  A student used it when we were taking about ghosts, too.  I don’t really know if we do this in America, but noises are pretty important here.  A noise + an expression such as “too expensive” really drives the point home.

·        Because Cambodia is a very communal place, we have grown accustomed to always eating family style.  When we go out, we will all share and split things even if we order a salad or burrito.  Ordering beers separate and not getting a pitcher is such a strange concept.  This concept has really transcended the “food category” and now includes hair products, electronics, clothes, etc.  I sort of feel uncomfortable not sharing things now.  I will just be grabbing things when I get home because it’s just so natural now.

·        When transferring anything in Cambodia, there is a proper way to do it.  As an example, let’s use money.  There are two correct ways to hand money to someone, first is the “two handed transfer”, which is one hand on each end of the bill(s).  The other is the right hand on the money and the left hand on the right arm.  We noticed that during a Peace Corps meeting and I asked someone for a pen, I reached with both hands and the person who handed it to me used the other method.  The only one that is wrong is just one hand with the other arm dangling at the side.  A volunteer worked for a big US company and her job was to assess the customer service in various stores around her state.  She told us that Asian-Americans are much more likely to make an immediate purchase at the store that hands money/business cards back with two hands.  Interesting little fact.  Maybe that company can hire me because I am now an expert. 

·        Because beer is sold lukewarm here, we always have beer on ice.  Now, as an avid fan of milk with ice, I welcomed this cultural difference with open arms.  Even when we go to a restaurant that serves cold beer, we still ask for ice.  The thought of beer without ice these days is enough to make me not want to drink it.  There is nothing worse in Cambodia than a warm beer.  I had a rough day and called Darlene and asked her if I could bring some beers over to her house.  I stopped at my little stand and got some (cold) beer.  I also picked up one kilogram of ice to go with it, out of habit. 

·        While we were growing up, dinner in my house looked something like this: two vegetables, a salad, potatoes (most likely) and a huge piece of meat or fish for everyone.  After we were done eating our personal hunks of steak/chicken/pork/etc, my dad would always comment that we left a lot of meat on the bones.  It actually became kind of a joke and we would say things such as “you can’t be done, there’s plenty of good meat left on that!”.  The rule was: if I can’t cut it with my Cutco knife, it’s not going to be eaten.  Dad, here is the official apology: I’m sorry for not understanding when I was a little punk and sorry for those laughs.  I get it now.  My host family is pretty good about having enough meat, but I can honestly say that the amount of meat for my whole host family is about as much as I would eat in one sitting in America.  As for the bone policy, my game has turned around 100%.  I thank my lucky stars when the meat I scoop from the communal dish is without bone/fat.  And if there is a little bit of meat on some bone, it’s game on.  I will fight for that meat.  I get it now, Dad.  I’m with you on this from here on out.

·        I thought to myself the other day how nice it will be when I get home and I don’t have to worry about mosquitoes every night because there aren’t as many and my house isn’t as open in America as mine is here. Then it struck me, the seasons actually change in America! I won’t have to “deal with mosquitoes” outside of summer months because it is too cold and they die.  Which is what I may do when I undertake my first Chicago winter after becoming Khmerican (a fushion of Khmer and American cultures). 

·        I remember being younger and listening to my older sister, Katie, and my older brother, Pat, work on speeches at our grade school.  I always thought that it was so cool how they began their speech by addressing the principal, the priest, the staff and the other students (and any other guest that may have been there).  They usually started with something along the lines of “Father Jenks, Ms. Burns, faculty, staff and fellow students…”  I always envied the “Father Jenks, Ms. Burns” part because they were addressed personally.  Well, now that I work with two English clubs and they each had a segment on public speaking, each student stood up and addressed the group as a whole and then addressed me personally, either by calling me “Cher” “Sister” or “Kealan”.  So it was something like this “Hello Cher/Sister/Kealan. Hello everyone”  I was pretty taken aback when the first student addressed me personally.  One of the three groups of the university’s English Club had never presented before and they addressed me either by “Sister” or didn’t address me at all.  The man in charge of the group, Raya, chewed them out for not addressing the special guest.  I accomplished that goal of being addressed personally during a speech. 

·        One of my former teammates and best friends, Jenna Best, used to make fun of me for how much I love attention.  We both believe that it is due to my birth order (being the third out of four children, and being the middle girl) and it used to annoy me when we were on the bus during road trips for softball and no one paid attention to me, so she would humor me and listen to whatever I was talking about.  I realized real early on that doing Peace Corps and coming to Cambodia was about the best thing that I could have done for my never ending desire for attention.  I teach classes of 70 students and about half of them hang on my every word. Moreover, the teachers have a platform at the front of the room, so it’s almost like I am performing for the class (almost).  Granted I am talking about the present continuous tense or vocabulary, it still counts.  The attention still has not ceased although I have been here for almost a year.  Except now, the attention that is directed towards me is simply because of how different I am.  By being my normal self, people want to watch.  Sometimes when I am riding my bike and come to an intersection and want to cross the street, some people stop just to watch me to ride my bike because everything that I do is weird here.  I embrace the attention, but the only difference now is that I don’t seek it out, it happens naturally.  The only thing that scares me now is that when I go home, people aren’t going to stop to watch my every move.  I sought out the attention before and now that it comes to natural, I almost forgot how much I looked for it back home.  I will just have to cross that bridge when I get there in about 12 months.

·        As a DI athlete for the 4 years leading up to my Peace Corps adventure, second semester was flooded with practice and games.  Because we played double headers on Saturdays and Sundays, going out chances were so limited, and on the rare occasion that we could in fact, go out, we were really tired.  Now my Saturday nights consist of being in bed by 8:00, although I am not playing Louisville in the morning this time around.  The “going out” scene is probably still possible, but I just don’t really care to.  In general, the free time vs. busy time has reversed.  While there are days that I am really busy, it doesn’t really compare to how filled my schedule was during season.

·        I now talk to myself.  I’m not so sure why that started or even when that started, but it did.

·        While this time last year I could catch a 70 mph line drive at my face, I am now incapable of killing a mosquito.  They fly much slower than softballs, but it takes me a long time to finally get one. Maybe it’s the heat or the old age, but my reflexes are simply awful.

·        Oak Park River Forest High School (my former high school) was infamous for never having snow days.  It’s been like ninety years or something outrageous like that since the last one.  Every time there was a forecast for snow, everyone would cross their fingers (which is actually a sexual reference in Cambodia) and pray for snow.  Although the snow usually came, the snow day didn’t.  It used to really make me mad because we could have used that day.  Now when I go to bed and it’s raining, I cross my fingers and pray for it to clear up so that we do have school.  There are some days when I just have a feeling that we aren’t going to have school and I’m usually right.  Sometimes there isn’t even a reason; we just don’t have school sometimes.  My sister Katie really looks forward to her vacations because they come after a long period of working hard and teaching.  For me it’s the opposite, I look forward to teaching because there are usually long periods of vacation and free time.  When have I EVER complained about having too much free time?  Never, because it has never happened before. 

·        When we first came to Cambodia, there were a few of us who became obsessed with Tiger Balm.  It was mosquito season and Tiger Balm helps with the stinging and itching.  Well, after living with a host family, I realized that they use it not only for mosquito bites, but when my sister burned her hand, they used Tiger Balm on it.  Or if someone has a stomach ache, they rub Tiger Balm on their stomachs.  Now, being American, I usually reach for some sort of medication.  But, I noticed that recently when I have a headache, I reach for the Tiger Balm instead of ibuprofen.  I don’t even know why, but I do, and it works. 

·        While in PP, a bunch of volunteers went out with some westerners that we met over the weekend to a Pakistani restaurant and obviously, we ordered family style.  We each got a plate of rice, a spoon and a knife.  We shared all the dishes and about halfway through the meal, my friend Jacqueline called attention to the fact that the Peace Corps Volunteers were eating Khmer style, using the fork to put rice on our spoons and eating off our spoons while the other westerners were eating with their forks (the same as everyone does in America).  I think that we were all relieved that everyone else was doing it too, not just us…

Lastly, Chun Lai and Chun Liap have returned from Takeo province! I hadn't seen Chun Lai in about 2 months, so I was so happy to see him.  But Chun Liap was in Takeo for about 4 months, so when she came back, she wasn't really a baby anymore.  She walks and is talking and even sniffed me, which is the Khmer way to kiss.  So cute.

A long Vacation.... And a Long Post

Summer in Cambodia is a very strange concept mainly because I feel like I am in a perpetual summer.  I left America during the summer and the weather never really changes, so sometimes I feel like time is standing still and it is still July, 2009.  I have to remind myself that I have been here for 11 months already and that contrary to my instincts, time is moving forward.  I find myself making comments to my parents and friends that really shows my ignorance to this whole time thing.  For example, I was talking to my mom last week about the trip that we are planning for us (my parents and myself) and she was saying how it would be fun for another sibling to come along.  I offered that Pat would be free to travel with us. “No, Kealan, he will be at Yale by then.”  Right, people actually have lives.  Sometimes I forget that.  I remember thinking that when I was little and we went on vacation that since we weren’t at home that things actually stayed the same until we got back.  Sounds very selfish, but it’s very difficult to grasp the concept, even after all this time. 

            On Sunday, June 20^th, my grade 12 English Club members asked me to come to their end of the year party.  I knew that it was a very special occasion because they cooked banchayoo, which is my favorite Khmer food, and is a sign of a special event. Banchayoo is made from rice (of course) which is ground and boiled to create a batter, which is cooked on a wok into a sort of pancake, then inside the pancake is sprouts and a pork-carrot-seasoning combination.  It’s pretty difficult to make and is a special occasion meal.  The day of the party, two students came to my house to collect me and my friend, Rachel, who I met through the Child Hope Ngo where I will do the health workshop (she is doing a summer internship of sorts for one month).  We rode about 3k to my student’s house, and it was a section of town that I hadn’t ever traveled to, so I was glad to see another part of this huge place.  It was really beautiful out there.  I was able to see the Cham (Muslim) population in Battambang as we rode past the mosque.  I invited Rachel along because my students are always looking to meet new Americans and practice their English.  I also wanted Rachel to meet them and have the chance to hang out with them.  So, we went to one student’s house and we cooked the banchayoo together, joked around and had a good time.  There were some other teachers there from the students’ private classes, so it was a fun mix of people.  We all sat down to eat the banchayoo, which is eaten with herbs, cucumbers and lettuce that is dipped in peanut sauce.  It is hands down my favorite food in Cambodia.  We sat on the floor and all ate together, typical Khmer style.  Afterward, we ate dessert, which was a mixture of fruit (jackfruit, passion fruit and many others that I don’t know the English word for) mixed with coconut milk and ice.  So delicious.  After the meal, we all sat around and listened to music, and shared stories, jokes and language.  It was a very fun day and I was really honored that they invited me.  On the way back home, I rode my bike with a student who kept thanking me for coming to the party and coming to Cambodia in general.  She lives about 25k outside of town and leaves her house at 5am to go to school, which is a 1.5 hour bike ride.  She just kept telling me how happy she was that she was able to be at a party with foreigners, which was her first party with Americans.  I tried to express that I felt the same way and I hope that she understood that the feeling was reciprocal.  We made plans to ride our bikes to Banan Mountain, which is a sacrifice for them because they all ride motos, but because I can’t, they agreed to take me all on bikes.  I also want to cook American food for them.  I texted my friend Keiko about it that night because it was one of those days that I will look back after I have finished my work as a Peace Corps Volunteer as one of the best days.  Her response was that those days are valued so much because as volunteers, we don’t really get too much feedback to indicate if what we are doing is actually making a difference or an impact.  So, those days that come every once in a while that provide the feedback that we crave and are ones that are really special and will be stored as a fond memory.  

 Cooking the Banchayoo!

Banchayoo all ready to go!!!

The feast....

Dessert

            Every now and then I need to be put in my place, in general but also here in Cambodia.  I actually think that we all do.  I didn’t do much the week after school ended and chalked it up to “needing a break” and I spent a lot of time in my room and read a lot.  Now, I think that is ok, but I had the audacity to complain about being woken up at 5:30 to my cousin chopping coconut skins.  I wanted to lie low for a while and pick up my work after July 4^th.  Then I realized that didn’t make any sense.  I didn’t come here to waste time in my room.  My students have an unbelievable power to humble me.  After I was upset about being woken up at 5:30, my student really unknowingly treated me by telling me that she leaves her house at 5:00 (a half hour than I woke up that day!) and obviously has to wake up much earlier than that to complete her household chores.  I secretly was ashamed by my selfishness but she provided the kick in the butt that I needed to get my act together and work hard before my mini vacation for the 4^th of July to PP.  I turned over a new leaf and put some plans in motion.  I started the World Map at the Ngo shortly after and got the ball rolling with my health workshop.  The English Clubs at my high school and the UME will continue as before. 

         

  I decided that the week leading up to my trip to PP would be a good time to take on the World Map project.  Although I am more of a baseball girl myself, the World Cup is a perfect time to do this project.  Geography in Cambodia is a requirement in school, but after asking various questions to my family, friends and students about geography, I realized that it is a really important aspect that is missing.  Most of my students couldn’t name the continents and had trouble finding their own country on a map.  Soccer is a really popular sport here, so the World Cup has been on every TV after dinner and everyone is talking about it.  I noticed my brother saying the names of countries that he didn’t even know existed before.  I couldn’t have asked for a better time to do this.  Because this project is mainly done at schools and my school director said flat out “No!” when I asked him to do it because the walls were being repainted, I asked my friend Rachel, who is a college student intern at Child Hope Organization, where I will be doing my health workshop, if she wanted to help.  Due to time constraints, we projected the map onto a wall and outlined it ourselves.  We began teaching very basic geography and learned quickly that the students only knew a handful of countries and couldn’t even find them on a map.  We dove right in and learned the names of the continents and drew attention to many popular ones.  For example, Cristiano Ronaldo is HUGE here, but the students all thought that he was from Spain.  Now they know that he is actually Portuguese.  Likewise, they knew that the World Cup was in Africa, but didn’t know that it was South Africa and couldn’t find it on a map, and they were all floored when we pointed out how far many people were traveling to go watch the games.  We finished it on Friday and it looks so great.  Many of the students painted their hands and made hand prints on the wall to make their mark in the world.  It was a nice touch.  Aunt Sue and Mom, I cannot thank you enough for providing the funds to make this possible.  I will send PLENTY of pictures, but the look on their faces when they actually started to think about the world as a whole, it was truly remarkable.  They are so excited to be a part of it, and it means so much to them to paint.  These are kids who are extremely poor- their parents’ income depends on finding bottles and glass to recycle.  Many are street children and some are orphans.  Because of human nature, they tend to be looked down upon, but simply by helping me with your donation, you really helped open their eyes to how big the world is.  It warmed my heart on the last day when this one girl took her friend who had missed the lessons before that, up to the almost completed map and taught her all of the continents and the big countries.  So, on behalf of all of them “Ahkun cheron!” (thanks a lot in Khmer).

          After the first step: paint the wall light blue (for the water)

Next: outline the map!

Then paint the countries!

The little girls were so brave and painted about half the map

My favorite boy painting in Cuba

One girl teaching her friends the continents

 The final product!!

  Now, as for my health project, things are going really well.  I met with Child Hope Organization a few weeks ago and they are doing some fantastic work with training these children.  There are daily English lessons, computer class, agriculture lessons and they even hatch and raise quails, which are sold and eaten.  I realized that one aspect that I can contribute to this organization is related to health.  Now, these are children who are going through other people’s garbage to find bottles and glasses to recycle to make money, so hygiene is not emphasized.  So, I devised a plan, using two trainees who are two of my star grade 11 students, we will conduct a one week workshop on very basic health concepts.  So, our plan is to have these sessions to teach or to reinforce very basic ideas, such as why drinking clean water is important and how to make sure the water you are drinking is clean.  But, it has been my experience that Khmer people know these concepts, but since it is not habitual to them, they tend to neglect them or change their ways.  Think about it, as a child, I specifically remember taking bathing breaks together as a class with Mrs. Skaleny and after we finished going to the bathroom, she watched us wash our hands.  Same at home, wash your hands before you eat, when someone is sick, etc.  It is so deeply engrained in us that sometimes we forget that it isn’t in others.  Having said that, the workshop will be the starting point of implementing healthy habits into the organization with the effect of the children bringing those habits home.  Another setback to practicing good health is that it’s expensive.  When it comes to these families that don’t really have any money, having soap around the house is trumped by getting food for the family, always.  So, part of our workshop will be for the children to take something home with them (a bar of soap, a toothbrush, etc.)  We also will make sure that there are some changes with the organization when it comes to these issues, which I discuss below.  Here are the five lessons that we will teach and what they entail:

1. Handwashing- Instruction on how to wash your hands using a fun activity I found that involves glitter, which is always well received here.  We will put glitter on a few students’ hands then have them touch their friends, their books, their pens, etc. and we will be able to see how easy it is to pass germs. We will then have the kids wash their hands and if there is still glitter on them, they know that they haven’t done it right.  Each student will have to properly wash their hands in front of an instructor to be given a bar of soap. In our budget, we will also have extra soap that we will keep at the organization and each of the teachers and workers will make sure that their students wash their hands after going to the bathroom and before they eat. 
2. Tooth-brushing- This is probably the most expensive topic, but none the less very important.  Many people here have very bad teeth and it is incredibly painful for them later in life.  It is also a source of embarrassment and they tend to be self conscious.  We will have the students draw a picture of how to brush your teeth and they will take it home to their families.  Once they have finished that, they will each get a toothbrush and toothpaste.
3. Water purification- Many people drink dirty water, so we will discuss how to make water drinkable.  This, again, is sort of tricky because it requires boiling water, which can be expensive.  This is why the students will be in charge of boiling water and making sure that there is always clean water at the organization.
4. Diarrhea- Towards the end of the dry season, there was an outbreak of cholera in 4 provinces to the east of us.  Many children die from diarrhea every year caused by dehydration.  This will be a piggy-back off of the clean water lesson, and will talk about prevention (drinking clean water) and how to fight it (making oral rehydration salts).  We will teach them how to make the mixture for the rehydration salts and keep some at the center. 
5. Mosquito borne illness- Because it is rainy season, the mosquitoes have really been a problem.  There is an announcement every morning about sleeping inside mosquito nets, wearing long sleeves, etc, but still, there are many children who die from diseases such as dengue fever.  This lesson will be about how to protect yourself from mosquitoes.  The students will each take home a bag of abate, which is a chemical that is offered at the health center to kill mosquitoes in water.  All families collect rain water and most of them are exposed and are teeming with mosquitoes.  Most Cambodians know about abate, but they don’t want to go to the health center, so we will make the bags for them and keep some extra at the organization for the kids to take home.  The chemicals are free and all you need is a bag to put it in and drop it in the water.  It will be the responsibility of the students to then refill the abate on occasion.

The two students who I chose as my summer interns are Vida and Kimny.  Vida is the boy I always talk about and Kimny is one of my best students, she also went to International Women’s Day.  They are two of my star students and also expressed interest in volunteering.  Vida isn’t really interested in getting money this summer, he would rather get professional experience.  Kimny wants to be an English teacher, so this will be a great way for her to have some teaching experience.  I took them to meet with the director, Socheat, at Child Hope.  He asked them to submit their resumes because he wants them to start teaching English to children at the pagoda.  Vida told me that he asked to volunteer there before, but they don’t accept high school students, only university.  Vida went back and gave Socheat his resume that day and Vida and I worked with Kimny on hers the next day.  Kimny is nervous because she thinks that she isn’t prepared, but this is such an awesome chance for her to get some experience under her belt.  As for the health workshop aspect, Socheat is on board and is really excited.  I will be working closely with him, as well as my interns until we have the workshop in September.  That will give us more than enough time to prepare for everything.  One important part of this is to train Kimny and Vida how to do everything- the budget, the curriculum, the translating, delivering the workshop and then assessing the workshop and moving forward.  I want them to see the whole process and learn from it.  First is the budget.  We went to the market to price everything that we will need and Vida was leading the brigade- negotiating, making deals, bargaining- he was awesome.  Kimny played the sweet Khmer girl card a few times.  They were real go gotters.  We then have to actually write up the budget, which will be done before I leave for PP (I will be submitting it to PC when I get in).  It’s exciting and they are the two best people to have on my team.  I can’t wait.

            I have set up times to meet with my grade 11 (Tuesday and Wednesday from 9-11) and grade 12 students (Tuesday and Wednesday 1-3) because they are a blast. My library was taken over by some books (not books that should in a library), so we will have to find another place to study.  I made a slideshow of my sister Katie’s wedding and showed it to my grade 11 and 12 students this week.  My students were baffled that we wore black dresses and one student said, “A Khmer girl would never wear black to a wedding.”  The bride doesn’t wear white here (she actually have about 4-5 different colorful outfits she wears each day).  I used to think that Khmer weddings were exhausting, but I saw the same look of exhaustion on their faces when I explained that it’s a one day affair for us.  “But cher, you travel to so many places for your weddings! Pictures before, the church, the reception, someone’s house!”  They also said that it was bad luck if anyone cries at a wedding.  Hopefully that isn’t true because I think we all brought Katie and Matt lots of bad luck.  They thought that everything was so beautiful and couldn’t believe the cake.  Some things were just lost on them- like how many people like to play “Shout!” at the reception and everyone crouches on the ground at one point when he repeats “a little bit softer now…” 

            My summer basically looks like this- teaching two groups of students at my high school for 2 hours twice a week (so total 4 hours).  Then working with Kimny and Vida on the health workshop at least once a week.  I also have two afternoons twice a week with the UME English Club.  I will continue to teach my brother Huck and his girlfriend every night, as well as the man who pumps air in my tires once a week and the school directors daughter once a week.  I want to set up a program with Child Hope that would be a sort of gym class where we go to the park (well really the open field) and play red rover, kickball, etc.  Darlene and I have talked about a resume/cover letter writing workshop at the universities. 

All in all, it has been a great start to the summer.  I will be going to a wedding on Sunday (our tuk-tuk driver is getting married) and next week should be quite busy.  I will head into PP on Sunday and meet up with my friends there.  Summer will fly by, I’m sure.  I am just trying to balance having fun and working hard, which actually isn’t much different than my previous life….. Miss you all!

Also, congrats Kelly and Dustin on the new baby! So many babies back home that may not be babies when I get back. 

One school year down, one left

This week has been a very important one for me because I have officially completed my first year as a teacher.  Grade 9 students already finished their tests and grade 12 students takes their tests next week, so classes are officially done.  I am really proud of myself for making it through one year, but I still have one more left.  I have learned a lot of lessons that I want to share with you:

            Much like most (if not all) Peace Corps Volunteers, I entered my service a bright eyed idealist.  I still possess those idealistic ideals because frankly, I would be miserable or at home if I didn’t have them.  After training, I was super excited to get into the classroom and make these huge changes.  Well, needless to say, those changes that I was seeking were not as dramatic as I anticipated initially.  I thought that I would defeat cheating, inspire teachers to teach when they are supposed and most importantly see a huge improvement in my students, both with their level of English and attendance.  Well, after about a month or two, it became clear that these changes weren’t going to come so easy, if at all.  I gave up on fighting cheating and learned that when teachers aren’t paid, they simply aren’t going to teach and focused my attention on working my butt off to improve my students’ English.  Most of my students improved their English levels, but I have noticed successes in some really unlikely places.  I was talking to my friend Jacqueline about how at the year mark, it’s so easy to look back on the things that we wanted to change and didn’t, but it is such a pleasure to see those changes that actually took place.  See, it is way more obvious to see the things that did not change, because they seem so important.  But let’s be honest, the system has been this way for much longer than I have been around, and Cambodia is a place that sticks firmly to it’s ideals and customs, which I believe to be its best and worst characteristic simultaneously, so it makes sense that not all battles taken on are going to be victorious.  But, if I could express in words the pleasure that the small successes have brought on, I would not be writing an amateur’s blog, but rather a book.  Although I am setting myself up for another failure, I will attempt to describe this feeling.  On my first day of actual teaching, a sheepish boy came up to me and asked for extra lessons outside of class in the library.  I knew that he worked up the courage the entire class and seemed extremely relieved when we set the time.  Those first few lessons proved that we needed to work really hard, but Vida showed that he was determined to learn English.  We would study grammar and vocabulary, but we got to know each other a little bit.  I learned more about him with every lesson- he hasn’t seen his parents in 3 years and for an 18 year old, that is a really long time.  He also told me that because he is not from here, he didn’t have many friends.  When I started my English Club, Vida was the only boy who came and was really awkward around the girls and I noticed that while he spoke when we studied alone, he hardly said a word while others were there.  He confided in me one day that he felt really self-concious because he is a “pagoda kid”, meaning that he lives with the monks at the pagoda, rather than in his home (which is about 400k in a distant province called Kampong Cham).  Over time, I noticed that with his improved English, many of the boys who sat around him would ask him for help and suddenly, he was Mr. Popularity.  He even ventured so far as making fun of his friend in front of the class.  I asked him to answer the question: “What does your friend like to do during the weekend?” and his response was “My friend likes to look at pretty girls.”  His friend didn’t understand, but he instantly gained more friends.  For the past two months, I have noticed his self-confidence peak.  He has even gone so far as correct me (rather put me in my place) during class when I confuse tenses and write something wrong.  In the English Club, we call him “Cher Vida” because he is so good at English is always looking to help the other kids.  When everyone presented their public speaking assignments, he grilled everyone and offered his expertise to help them out.  He is a completely new kid and it has been a pleasure to watch his progress as a student and also with his confidence.  I am really looking forward to watching next year. 

            As volunteers, it is a tough lesson to learn that not everyone will benefit from your efforts, for whatever reason.  By the end of this school year, I stopped trying to include the students who didn’t want to be there for a few reasons.  If they don’t want to be there, I’m not going to take away from attention and help that I could give to the kids that want to be there.  I know that is such a teacher thing to say, but it’s true.  In a class of 70, when there are about 10 kids who want to do the work, you tend to not care about the other 60.  I wish that this wasn’t the case, but I came here to teach English, not to convince students to listen to me and do their work.  Some of the kids really got their acts together and took an interest, but most didn’t.  It would be foolish for me to believe that I could make everyone interested in my subject.  If I devoted my entire life to that, then maybe that would be worthwhile, but I have other plans.  Most of the kids who didn’t pay attention in class are the kids that pay the most money during private classes with my coteacher, so they can get away with it.  Essentially, my hands are tied because I would be creating a huge fight if I got involved in that.

            Yesterday, I met with my grade 11 English Club and when I asked them if they wanted to study this summer, they all said yes.  Now, this English Club would mean that the students have to take time out of their vacation to study more, which is unlike most 18 year old kids.  They have family obligations and they aren’t getting anything out of this besides knowledge, but that is what they want.  This is a huge success for me because Cambodia is run by stupid certificates that people get for taking part in classes, so no certificate usually means no interest.  Their reading comprehension, listening, writing and speaking skills have sky rocketed.  Before I had to spoon food any metaphor or deeper meaning, but yesterday when we read an article about cholera in Northeast Cambodia, they were connecting the dots and making comparisons on their own.  

 11D students in the library (aka storage room attached to the library)

So where does this leave me?  With renewed spirits and a break to work during the summer, which starts immediately.  Here is a breakdown of my summer projects, just to keep you informed:

• World Map- Thanks to my mom and Aunt Sue, I have enough money to paint the world map on two separate surfaces.  I want to do it at my high school and the university, but the university may not be so keen, but there will definitely be two world maps in Battambang in a few months.  This project will be a really great geography lesson, but more importantly, it will be a good community project.  The students that will paint the map will most likely be the students from my English Clubs, which will be a really fun activity to do.  Likewise, Khmer students tend to be very artistic and rather meticulous when it comes to straight lines and proportion, so I think that they will look beautiful.
• English Clubs- As of right now, I have four English Clubs.  One at the university and one for grade 9, 10 and 11 each.  I meet with the university English Club two Mondays and Thursdays from 2-5 where we discuss a specific topic from the World Book Encyclopedia.  The theme for this month is natural phenomena (such as tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, etc).  The students read the material, we discuss it and then they each give a speech about what they learned.  They are a lot of fun and we have a lot of laughs.  They are very curious about America because most want to study and or live there, so we tend to share information about our countries, which is always a really great cultural exchange.
• Private English Classes- I have three private classes as of right now.  Every weeknight, I teach my host brother Huck and his girlfriend, Navy.  They are great students and it is a great chance to get to know them better and spend time together.  I told Huck that I needed him to speak and be brave, so initially just guessed all the time, which I appreciated, but eventually it led to him getting many questions right.  Sometimes he is so far off, but he tries really hard and doesn’t get embarrassed.  He has improved so much, especially with listening because before if he didn’t understand a word, the entire sentence was thrown off.  Now he is able to pinpoint the word that he doesn’t understand and ask about that word.  It always brings a smile to my face when he uses a phrase that I taught him, such as: check it out, it depends, what’s up.  I also teach lessons once a week to a man who is a bike repair man.  He is really sweet and although the cards are stacked against him, he wants to be an English teacher.  We read articles together from the Cambodia Daily and he gives me free air in my tires.  I also teach English once a week to my vice principal’s daughter, who just married a Cambodian-American who lives in California.  She will be moving there in 6-10 months, so she wants to prepare.  I am trying to improve her level as much as possible while also trying to prepare her for the cultural differences.  I think that she will be ok because she is going to Long Beach, which has a high mount of Khmer people. 
• Health Training Center English- I went to meet the director of the center and after a rather embarrassing exchange (he went to shake my hand, which is very uncommon in Cambodia because they hold their hands in a prayer position and bow just a little, but I was confused and thought he asked me to take a seat…) we went into his office and talked about what the center needs.  He told me that they have many resources, but they are all in English, so the trainers (professors or teachers) have to learn English and then translate them into Khmer then teach them.  He was asking for someone to teach the trainers and the trainees (aka the students).  I still have a lot of thinking to do about this one because if I simply help to translate these documents, when the next documents come in, this health center will be in the same position.  Likewise, if I teach the trainers and trainees, they need to have a high level of English to understand books about health.  So, I am thinking that I will lay the groundwork for some sort of English curriculum for the health center.  I think that this will be best because the better that the trainees are at English, the more that they will understand from these resources and after they graduate, they will be better candidates for jobs if they can speak English.  Also, for many jobs at clinics or organizations that are run by international funders, reporting is done mainly in English, regardless of the country that the organization is from.  This project, though, seems really huge.  Then again, I’m not looking for cushy jobs here and although this project is one that I cannot do alone and will take many years after I am gone to implement, it has the capacity to really help the health sector in Cambodia, which is obviously a big one. 
• Health Workshop- There is an Ngo very close to my house called Child Hope Organization, which works with children, mainly street children, extremely poor children, orphans or children with a parent with AIDS or a disability.  These children go to school in the mornings, but because their families are poor, they are forced to go to parties and schools to collect cans and bottles to recycle.  This organization was established to give them a safe, clean place to come and learn skills.  My plan is to set up a weekly workshop on a health issue with my student, Vida, who wants to get some volunteer experience.  It will be a sort of internship.  We will work on the curriculum and create a book for the workshops.  We will deliver the workshop together, me in English and Vida translating to Khmer.  The issues we will discuss are washing hands, how to handle diarrhea, teeth brushing, drinking clean water, etc.  I will need to submit a project proposal for funding because my plan is to get the children to come to the sessions by offering food in the beginning.  Then we will deliver the workshop and upon completion of a sign to bring home or hang in the organization, the children will get something to bring home to their families to enforce what they learned.  For example, when we do hand washing, the children who complete the lesson will get a bar of soap.  Or when we do teeth brushing, they will get a tooth brush.  Because we will cover many different topics, the children who come to every workshop will get a certificate and some sort of prize (money most likely).  Because being healthy is expensive when you don’t have much, we need to cater to those needs.  We will also implement these values learned in the seminars around the organization, such as making sure that there is always clean drinking water and soap for them to wash their hands with while they are there. 
• Youth Development- There is an Ngo that works with youth development and I think I will work with them to try to find funding, as well as give English lessons and hold various workshops about resumes, applications, etc.  They have a youth club that I would like to be a part of, but that is still unclear too.

That about covers my summer.  It may seem like a lot, but there aren’t too many obligations that I have for the summer and I know myself well enough to know that I will need to stay busy to stay sane.  The next group of volunteers will be here in a month and half and that will be fun to be a part of.  It will be difficult to do anything next summer, so I want to make sure that I really put myself out there this summer.  Some of the programs will most likely bomb, so it’s good to have certain programs that will run.  It also helps that I will be working with places that are established already.  I don’t want to reinvent the wheel, I just want to add to what is already out there.  Most places want an English speaker to help teach or proofread applications for funding, etc and although it is not my ideal summer project, if that is the blaring issue here, then I will do it.  Notice that I am working in a wide range of places, which will help me with the projects.  I have had my fill of teaching from the English for Cambodia curriculum, so teaching my private class will give me some room to teach as I please, as do these other projects.  

As for the 4^th of July, which was something that I was nervous about, I will be heading into PP to celebrate.  Jacqueline and I decided to have a really American weekend- swimming, subs, shopping, eyebrow waxes, and air conditioning.  There is a party at the Embassy on the 4^th, but we are going to make sure that we have a great weekend before that.  It has been a while since we got together to have a break, so we will make it worth it.  

 Me teaching Darlene how to use facebook.  Sometimes we joke that I am her grad assistant.

I have learned more in my first year as a teacher than I did as a student.  It has been a crazy year, but I still feel good about being here, even though there were times when I doubted myself, my work and the ability to help.  Some volunteers have abandoned their optimism for “realism” but they aren’t really happy.  It’s really easy to get down and negative and blame it on being realistic, but if I lost my hope, why would I remain here?  No matter how upset I get with Cambodia, I know deep down that I am doing some good, no matter how difficult it is to see at time.  And if I ever lose that fire, well, it’s time to go home.  I think that after being a teacher for one year, one of my biggest successes is keeping a positive spin on things.  I found a quote in a book that I am reading that I think is perfect in this case.  “But any country is still in the making. Always.” He was talking about America, but I think it is perfect for this situation. I will try to remember that when I think things aren’t going well.

P.S. I changed the settings on the blog so that anyone can comment.  That’s a hint…. :)